Some medical professionals of Reddit shared the worst sex-related injuries they ever have seen at their workplace. We pick up the top 10.
1. Spiders Being Milked:
"Exotic, special-ordered venomous spider up the ass. Guy called an ambulance because he wasn’t sure if he could put bug bite cream up there too, as the packaging said “for external use only”. Lost entire transverse section of (necrotic) bowel. Lived, but poops in a bag now."
2. Broken Penis:
"Dudes testicles were the size of grapefruits. I assume the internal pudendal artery was pumping blood into them from somewhere. Was an MA then, now in med school. Was a neat injury, but nothing we could do for him in urgent care. He needed surgery for sure. Did see a bottle stuck in a rectum xray as well. Im not one to judge. Keep on freakin on, but dont put glass in your ass please."
3. Stuck Up the Butt:
"Countless cases of stuff stuck up the butt: dildos, vibrators, cucumbers, toilet bowl brushes. If it’s possible to get in the butt, someone has needed it surgically removed.
Toilet bowl brush was the most shocking. However the funniest was reconstructing a giant white, oddly realistic veiny cock on the back table to make sure they had pulled it all out.
EDIT: pro-tip: if you get something stuck up your butt don’t make up some fantastic story about naked light bulb changes. We know how it got there, you know how it got there. There’s no shame in liking butt stuff, just tell us your personal time went awry."
4. Hip Dislocation:
"I used to work weekend night shifts. Had a younger girl come in one weekend. Despite her age, she had a hip replacement and it was dislocated. ER put it back in and away she went. Next weekend, she’s back again. Same thing. Third weekend in a row and there she is. Finally I ask what she’s doing to dislocate her hip and she says her boyfriend keeps bending her leg back to far during sex. I told her to try different positions."
5. Pencil Stuck Up the Urethra
"Dude stuck a pencil up his urethra.
Wood is porous. It got stuck. For a day. He couldn't pee around it, and initially that's what his complaint was, urinary retention. Finally in the exam room when the doc asked him WTF with the eraser sticking out of his dick did the guy fess up.
He ended up needing surgery. He was also 70ish. Old enough to know better."
6. Crowned jewels:
7. Injected Heated Petroleum Jelly into Dick:
"Janitor heated petroleum jelly and injected it into his dick with a syringe. He was trying to make his dick bigger. He added more. Other janitor saw him and decided to do the same.
So turns out with nowhere to go, petroleum jelly forms granulomas under the skin, which get infected. Word was the tip of his dick and the base wouldn't get hard anymore, only the middle. And abscesses formed, resulting in (what was described as) the dick looking like "maggots had bored tunnels through it". Janitor 1 was hospitalized for several weeks.
As for Janitor 2, he ended up with several ulcerating wounds in his pelvic region. You could stick a finger in them, they were that big.
Apparently injecting your dick with petroleum jelly is fairly common. Some girls have also attempted to inject their boobs so give themselves implants. It has led to deaths because bits and pieces of it can dislodge and travel to the lungs.
Don't do it."
8. Poor 18-Year-Old-Minor
"18 year old kid had a cheap dildo break wayyy up his ass. Was bleeding from his butt. Needed surgery.
In my state you’re not legally an adult until 19 so he had to call his mom for consent, and she demanded staying with him through his entire ER visit.
Edit: his butt ate the entire dildo. Probably a solid 7-9 inches of plastic. Top 2 inches is what broke off.
Also yes, the medical consent rules are screwy. Applies for sexual assault as well, unless the parent was the suspected assailant."
9. Syphilis In The Eye:
"Not my story but my mom's. She used to work in the oncology department of her hospital a while back. One day she comes home, sits me down, and says, "Syphilis in the eye. You always make sure your partner is clean, dont take their word for it. I dont care what you do. Just... Syphilis in the eye."
That's all I needed to hear."
10. Labial Hematoma: