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Patient Readme, Vaginismus Is Not Just A Mental Disorder

by Taran Khuu |


The filming of the second season of Sex Education has officially begun, which makes this a perfect time to talk about some the same problems that Lily has and I also encounter in my everyday life. Just like Lily, I suffer from Vaginismus for which I have been treated in Indonesia last week. For the coming months, I will be busy with vaginal expansion and self-practice. Sadly enough, Vaginismus is not a simple disorder that will heal by itself without putting in a tremendous effort.

Throughout this article, we from Luvkis will have a closer look at what Vaginismus really is and what people like me, who are suffering from it, are going through every day. Keep on reading to find out all you have to know about this sexual disorder.


What is vaginismus?

People who have Vaginismus suffer from an involuntary contraction of the muscles around the opening of the vagina. When talking about Vaginismus, it has to be understood that there are 5 different levels one can suffer from. Lily and I belong to level 4, which means that we are unable to insert something into our vagina. Although people like us are willing to play around with your partners and make love and our genitalia does lubricate itself in a natural manner, the muscle contraction makes it simply impossible to insert something.


Is Vaginismus a mental problem?

If a doctor is saying that you are suffering from Vaginismus simply because you're not yet ready to have sex or because you're not relaxed enough, he's wrong. Vaginismus is a neuromuscular disease as a result of which the vagina muscles stay unconsciously closed. Yes, you read it right; it’s unconscious! You can't control it! Like your heart, you can't control its contraction and relaxation. As a result, Vaginismus is not simply a sickness that can be cured by a change of mind. 

Why do people suffer from Vaginismus?

The reason why people are suffering from Vaginismus has not yet clearly been determined. Healthcare professionals assume it is related to anxiety, pain sensitivity, or a rough sexual educated. Nevertheless, we can't be sure. Many women don't know that they have vaginismus until they have sex for the first time because they don't fear or reject sex but their vagina simply does not cooperate.


Ncuti Gatwa and Tanya Reynolds in Sex Education

 Source: IMDb



How to treat Vaginismus?

The only way to treat Vaginismus is by penetration. Whether it’s with your fingers, by having actual sex, or with the use of a sex toy for women, your vagina needs to get used to penetration. Only after penetrating your vagina many times, your subconscious mind will get used to having sex. However, this is what creates a dilemma because women who suffer from Vaginismus can't insert something into their vagina. So, what can we do?

If you are suffering from level 4 Vaginismus, simple mental stimulation won’t be enough. Luckily, there is another way which has a 100% success rate. Because Vaginismus is not a mental illness, it can be treated through surgery. After having the operation, up to 84% of women are able to handle slight penetrations within 3 weeks. This method was invented by Dr. Pacik, and the therapy is still relatively innovative. After the operation, women will be able to penetrate themselves and practice slowly without experiencing any pain. This offers a great way for them to conquer their Vaginismus.


Sex Education Season 1- Lily is holding condoms.

 Source: IMDb



Many women suffer from the same conditions as Lily. Some of them, however, don't know what went wrong. As a result, they remorse, become depressed, blame their partner, lose confidence, suffer from fear, and so on. I hope they can get some help from this blog.

For more information on Vaginismus, please check out and

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