At Luvkis, we normally like to talk about the joy and pleasure of sex and masturbating, but did you know that there are also people who, in fact, do not feel sexual attraction at all? These people are experiencing so-called asexuality. And although most of us may not think about this topic often, or some of is might have never heard of it before, asexuality is, in fact, more common than you may think. Millions of people around the globe are experiencing a lack of sexual attraction towards other people, resulting in the fact that they are less interested in sex. Throughout this article, we will have a brief look at what asexuality really is and what it means to the people who live with it.
What is Asexuality?
If you want to keep it very brief and general, asexuality simply means that a person does not experience any sexual attraction towards others. In reality, however, it lies a bit more complicated than that.
A person who experiences asexuality is someone who does not feel sexual attraction. It has to be understood that asexual people do, unlike celibacy, not choose to be this way. In fact, for them, asexuality is an intrinsic part of who they are. People who are asexual face an entirely different set of difficulties compared to most sexual people, however, this does not mean that their lives are any better or worse. Although asexual people may not be attracted to sex, they still experience things like relationships, attraction, and arousal, however, in a somewhat different way from people who are sexually active.
For asexual people, attraction means everything related to becoming infatuated with another person. Hereby you can think about wanting to be around somebody, the desire to learn more about them, and falling in love. However, all these things are done without the desire to express it sexually. Although asexual people do not feel attracted to sex, they can feel aroused. For an asexual person, arousal is the feeling of being turned on without the desire to share this with a partner. In other words, some asexual people do, indeed, masturbate or use adult toys such as a vibrator.
Source: The Trevor Project
In today’s world, still little is known about asexuality and people are just starting to study and understand the topic. It is important to understand, however, that asexuality is considered to be a sexual orientation rather than dysfunction. For more information on the topic of asexuality and on the feelings asexual people do and do not experience, please check out the website of The Trevor Project.
Do Asexual People have Relationships?
The answer to this question is very simple, yes! Asexual people do date other people - and not only as in asexual people among each other. As mentioned before, asexual people also experience desire and love. And just because this desire may not be sexual, it does not mean that an asexual person cannot be romantic or have desires for other sorts of physical intimacy and affection. Although sex is important to most of us, it is not a necessity for having a healthy and long-lasting relationship with your husband or wife. If people can have sex without love, then why can’t they love without sex?
With respect to having a relationship with an asexual person and how this goes, there is little to be said. The truth is, every asexual person acts differently in a relationship. Whereas some may have sex purely to please their partner, others choose to have a pure sex-less relationship. As with any other people, no two people are alike. As of such, open communication about each other needs and expectations are necessary to make (any) relationship, but especially one with an asexual partner, work.
Help! My Partner is Asexual!
In today’s society, so much is based on temptation and sexual well being. As of such, it might be a real shocker to find out that your partner is asexual. If you think or know that your partner is asexual and you want some advice, the Asexuality Visibility Network is a great place to start. Here you’ll find an answer to many questions related to asexuality and relationships and you’ll also be able to find other people who either are asexual themselves or who are dating an asexual person.